9 Reasons why you resist change
9 Reasons why you resist change
There are many reasons why you might try to resist change. The following list covers some of the most common reasons.1. It's not enjoyable
When you are making major changes in your life, whether it has been decided by you or someone else, there are going to be adjustment periods and there is going to be hard work required. During these changes, there is not always a lot of fun to be had. The ability to delay gratification until the change is complete is essential. The inability to delay gratification is one of the major reasons that people resist change.
It is imperative that you maintain focus on the bigger picture and the purpose behind the change.
2. Inability to start
Not knowing where to start is a common, excuse to resist change. You know you want to change something and you know that you will benefit from the change but you resist it due to not knowing where to start. You get caught up in the paralysis of analysis and fail to set the change in motion.
Rather than focusing on the perfect place to start, do some brainstorming to come up with a list of potential starting points i.e. simple actions which you can take. Pick one that seems like it might work and give it a try. If it doesn’t work, use the feedback to help select the next option. Once you set the wheels in motion, you will soon find the right path but you won’t do this unless you take a first step.
3. Poor self-image
If you do not see yourself as capable of making the change; you will struggle to make the change. Imagine you wish to improve your productivity. If you can only see yourself as a disorganised individual who is always rushing from one task to another, you are going to struggle to become a highly productive person. In this instance, you may need to work on your self-image first.
See yourself as the person you are trying to become. Visualise this on a daily basis. As you do this, you will become more confident in your ability to achieve this objective. You will begin to identify the changes you need to make and you will be more motivated to make those changes. While an unhealthy self-image may cause you to resist change; a healthy self-image can inspire you to make positive changes.
4. Failing to view a behaviour as a behaviour
Sometimes you may see your behaviours as permanent fixtures i.e. a part of who you really are. Some common examples of this can be seen when people label themselves e.g. I am an angry person. When you believe that your behaviour is part of who you are, you cannot easily see how you can change it so, you resist change. You may come out with excuses such as:
- ‘I wouldn’t be me if I changed that’
- ‘This is who I am’
It is important to remember that behaviour is a temporary thing which can be changed. Your behaviour is not who you are, it is something whcih can be changed and when you realise this, you are less motivated to resist change.
5. Deflecting responsibility
If you want to change something, it is you who must make the change. People who resist change often do so by attempting to place responsibility for that change onto someone else e.g.
- ‘I will quit, if you quit’
- ‘I will go to the gym 4 times per week if you come too’
- ‘I will go on a diet as long as you do not eat any unhealthy foods around me’
In each of these cases, the responsibility for the change is being placed on the other person. If they fail once, that provides an excuse to quit and blame it on them. Deflecting responsibility is just a sneaky, hidden way to resist change. If you want to make a change, you must take responsibility for that change.
6. Fear of uncertainty
There is no guarantee that any change will be a success. If you look for a guarantee of success, you are giving yourself an excuse to resist the change. You know that nobody can give that guarantee. However, if you want to make a change then you must know that the status quo is not working and is no longer acceptable.
If the change does not bring the results that you are looking for, you can make changes until it does but if you don’t make a change, you know that you are stuck with an unacceptable status quo.
7. Sunk costs
When you have spent a great deal of time in a situation e.g. relationship, job; you will have invested a great deal of your personal resources. It can feel like you are throwing those investments away when you choose to make a change thus causing you to resist change.
It is important to remember the transient nature of life. We move from situation to situation, learning as we go along.
Rather than focus on all that you put into the situation, remind yourself of all that you gained during your time and then focus on the opportunities that you will have as a result of making the change.
8. You do not really want to change
There are many occasions where you may want to give the impression that you are trying to change something but in reality, you do not want to make the change. There can be different reasons for this. Maybe somebody else is pressurising you into change that you do not want to make e.g. your partner wants you to stop smoking so you make a feeble attempt to stop before you start smoking behind her back. Eventually you get caught out but you are able to claim that you tried.
Another common example occurs when you try to save a relationship which you have already given up on. Out of respect for the other person, or because you want to claim that you tried to save the relationship; you are willing to go through the motions. However, you are not committed so, there is little chance of making a successful change.
Nobody has the right to pressurise you into anything. If you do not want to change, you do not have to. It is best to come clean and acknowledge that you do not want to make the change.
9. Payoffs
If you are willing to stick with a status quo which you know doesn’t work for you, there is usually some form a payoff which is influencing you to resist change. These payoffs are driven by fear of what you might lose if you made the change e.g.
- You would like to manage your aggression but you fear that your employees will no longer be motivated if they do not fear you.
- You would like to be less passive but it gets you a lot of sympathy and attention which you enjoy.
- You would like to give up smoking but you fear putting on weight if you do.
When you are looking to make a major change, it is important that you identify the ways in which you are benefitting from the status quo. If you fail to manage your thinking around these payoffs, you can easily begin to resist or sabotage your efforts to change.
Change is made a whole lot easier with a clear purpose. To learn more check out the Living Purposefully Workbook. Change is a necessary part of life. It can be motivated by your own desires or by external pressures. If you fail to manage it correctly, change can be one of the most difficult and stressful periods of your life. There are many reasons why you might resist change but in reality; there is no reason to fear or resist change. When you know that you would really like to change something, or you know that you absolutely have to change something; you can use the above list to identify some of the key ways in which you might attempt to resist change. You can then address these issues to help make a smoother transition. Image credit: Chance Agrella