When we think about the word ‘focus’ we usually think about one of two things – photography or time management. While I love beautiful photos, I don’t know enough about photography to write about it. And while I do write about time management, it is not the only area where focus is important in your personal and working life. Focus is all about giving your time, energy and attention to that which is important and, avoiding giving your time, energy and attention to the things which simply don’t matter What is often forgotten is that focus is just as important when dealing with people. When you know what is important to you and who is important to you; you spend less time fighting about things that don’t matter to you, with people who don’t matter to you. Focus reduces conflict.
Assertiveness is very important when dealing with conflict. You can get a copy of my FREE Assertiveness Tactics report.
4 Ways that focus reduces conflict
By getting clear on who and what really matters to you, you can greatly reduce the conflict, stress and frustration in your life. The following are four of the most important ways in which focus reduces conflict.
1. You know what you want
When you know what you want from life, you are able to sit down and think out the best way to get it. Often, it is merely a matter of asking the right person.
When you don’t know what you want, you get caught in a trap of wanting to take every opportunity and having every new thing that comes along. You end up fighting and arguing over things that don’t really matter to you and you end up fighting with people who were never in a position to give you what you really want.
2. You know what you don’t want
Further to the previous point there is little worse than calming down after an argument to discover that what you were fighting over was never really that important to you anyway.
When you know what you don’t want, you will more often value peace over fighting for something which possesses little or no real value to you. You are happy to allow others to feel that they won the battle. They are often too stupid to realise that you can’t win a fight with somebody who isn’t fighting or competing with you.
3. You stay out of other people’s business
Getting involved in other people’s business is one of the quickest and easiest ways to find yourself in a conflict. You feel that loyalty is important so you stand up for your friend. Or, you feel that somebody is acting in a manner which you don’t believe to be appropriate.
Well, it’s not your job to fight your friends’ fights and it isn’t your responisiblity to educate those who don’t want to learn. Instead, you can realise that other people’s issues are rarely important to you. Then you can let them live their life as they see fit; as long as it does not have a negative impact on your life.
Stay out of other people’s business and you will dramatically reduce your conflicts, stress and frustration.
Assertiveness is very important when dealing with conflict. You can get a copy of my FREE Assertiveness Tactics report.
4. You distance the right people
When you start to focus on what is important, you realise that less is more in life. Very few things are very important to you. Most of the people whom you interact with on a daily basis are not very important to you either.
It becomes very easy to see if they are causing more trouble than they are worth and; if they are, you can distance them. You just give them less of your time, energy and attention. This quickly results in less conflict and stress. The other upside is more time, energy and attention to give to those who bring the most happiness and joy to your life.
If you are forced to deal with conflict, How to Talk So Others Will Listen will help you do so effectively.
Conclusion
People only think of focus in terms of time management and productivity. But focus is essential in many other areas of life. Conflict can bring a great deal of stress to your life. What’s most annoying when you experience conflict, is that you often wonder what you were fighting over. Either the issue wasn’t important or the person whom you were arguing with isn’t important to you. Focus helps you identify what and who is important to you. Just as importantly, it helps you identify what and who should have no place in your life. By making the necessary adjustments, you are virtually guaranteed to reduce the conflict in your life.