Are you responsible for your life? It seems like a simple question. The answer may seem obvious to you. However, your answer to that simple question can shape everything about your life, from your achievements to your ability to deal with stress and illness. When things go right for us, we are more than willing to accept responsibility. When things go wrong, there is usually a multitude of others whom we can attribute blame to.
There have often been times in my life when I wondered why nothing was going my way. I was not getting the results I wanted and I seemed to have no luck. Rather than admit that I was responsible for my life; at times like these it was easy to blame everyone else; from the Government to family and friends or God. But, before you blame others it is worth examining whether you have your priorities right.
But, being responsible for your life does not work that way. Being responsible for your life requires that you accept responsibility through the good times and the bad. It’s not about blaming yourself. It’s about accepting that an action(s) which you have taken has contributed to the outcome you have achieved. Rather than blaming; being responsible for your outcomes empowers you. If you accept that there is something that you did wrong (intentionally or not), then you must also accept that there is something you can do get it right next time. So, rather than sitting back waiting for someone else to sort your life out, you can identify what you did wrong and sort it out yourself. That is what being responsible for your life is about.
It is very easy to become part of a culture of blame but this just weakens you. If you refuse to be responsible for your life you soon descend into a state of voluntary helplessness, whereby you expect others to live your life for you.
The following parable from the Arab mystic Sa’di illustrates the point:
The Disabled Fox
A man walking through the forest noticed a fox that had lost its legs and he wondered how it lived. Then he saw a tiger with game in his mouth. The tiger had his fill and left the remainder of the meat for the fox.
The next day God fed the fox by means of the same tiger. The man began to wonder at God’s greatness and said to himself “I too shall just rest in the corner with full trust in the Lord and he will provide me with all I need.”
He did this for many days and nothing happened. He was almost at death’s door when he heard a voice say, “O you who are in the path of error, open your eyes to the truth! Follow the example of the tiger and stop imitating the disabled fox.”
Life is not about sitting around hoping everything goes your way. It is not about expecting others to meet your needs. The tiger provides a wonderful example of how to live. He realises that he is responsible for his life. Rather than depend on God or others, he does what he loves and what comes naturally to him i.e. he hunts for food, and he shares his excess with someone less fortunate than himself.
How much better would your life be if you behaved more like the tiger and less like the fox?