​I have always been one for advocating goals. They are a great way to get you focused and working towards something positive in your life. Whenever you achieved something positive in your life, you usually had a goal – either formally or informally. Almost every successful person I have ever read about sets goals. However, as great as goals are, there is something you really need to be wary of – attachment to a goal. When you are attached to a goal, anything else is unimportant. You sacrifice just about everything else to achieve the goal. Many people will tell you that sacrificing everything for the achievement of a goal is worth it but I would be to differ.

I want to demonstrate how being attached to a goal can be damaging, to your health, your happiness and your life in general. I will use an example of an experience from my own life.

I want to demonstrate how being attached to a goal can be damaging, to your health, your happiness and your life in general. I will use an example of an experience from my own life.

​While I am not very tall (5’11’’), I am a very big man. I have a very blocky build and I have always been heavy. Even when I am in my best condition, I still weighed very heavy.  A few years back, after I had been travelling for a few years, and I had spent 18 months studying in the UK, I was seriously overweight. In fact, I was very obese I was weighing in at 24 Stone (280lb).  

A few months earlier, I had been on a stag weekend to Pisa and Florence. 5 of us decided to climb to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa to the get the full experience and enjoy the view. As we climbed the stairs, I became very worried that I was not going to fit. The stairway was designed for medieval men, not men of my size. It was cramped at a few points but I got to the top. One of the greatest experiences of my life was almost ruined by the fact that I had let myself go.

When I got back to Ireland, I was determined that I was going to do something about it. My health, wellbeing and happiness depended on it. I quickly arranged to join a gym which was owned by a friend. We came up with a training plan and a diet to get started. He asked me what my goal was, and I told him I wanted to get to 14.5 Stone (203lb). I picked this weight because it was a weight that I had gotten to when I was in my late teens. Other than that, there was no specific reason for setting that goal.

​I can be a bit obsessive by nature, so I automatically committed to giving my all to achieve the goal. At times, I did two circuit training sessions each day. When I was only doing one session per day, I would go for a long walk later in the day. I watched my diet like a hawk.

Nothing else seemed to matter. I avoided a lot of socialising because that was using up energy that I needed to train. Besides, if I stayed in, I could go to bed early and be well rested for my next training session.  My diet ​became very limited and training and diet was all I could think about. Other people and other things did not matter. 

This mentality would go on for about 18 months.

​Related article: Attachment - the enemy of happiness

With each passing week. My weight would drop, and my body fat measurements would do likewise. My progress was amazing, and I was buzzing with delight. But eventually, the ​improvements became smaller. Any time I would get on a scale, I wouldn’t be happy. I would never feel that I was gaining enough. The same would occur with my body fat measurements. There were 12 different measurements which would be taken and if I improved in 11 of them, I would be annoyed about the one measurement which hadn’t improved. Every weekend I would be irritated because I felt that I hadn’t made enough progress during the week.

Of course, my progress was visible to everybody else. I was getting compliments everywhere I went. There were girls in my hometown who had never talked to me before who suddenly started talking to me. But that wasn’t enough for me. I had no time for enjoying life because I still hadn’t reached 14.5 Stone.

After some time, I had gotten down to 16.5 Stone and 10% body fat. That was very good condition. Anybody else in my position would be ecstatic with that improvement but I still hadn’t reached my goal so, I wasn’t happy. The truth was that I couldn’t get to 14.5 Stone and be in a healthy condition, which I could maintain. I had really achieved everything I had set out to achieve, and more, except for that ridiculous target weight. I had achieved my real goal, great health, but I was too blind to see it.

I had set a goal based on what I thought I wanted rather than take the time to really understand what I wanted.

Related article: Why you must know what you want

​I was attached to a goal which I didn’t need to reach but in an attempt to achieve it, I trained harder. The weights I was lifting kept getting heavier and the walks became longer. I was regularly doing walks of over 20 miles on the days that I wasn’t in the gym. I was determined and obsessed. I was not going to let anything stop me. 

Then, one October Monday morning, I woke with a little pain in my foot. I didn’t think anything of it but when I went to get out of bed; as soon as my foot touched the ground I was in agony. My foot had seized up and the pain was incredible. It took me a few minutes to walk the few feet to my phone. I called my Mother and she brought me some painkillers. It took me a few days to recover but within a few weeks the other foot went the same way.

I ended up needing Orthotics, a lot of physio and 2+ years of stretching and mobility work to get my body back to anywhere close to where it should be.

​Thankfully, I didn’t put all the weight back on. I am currently overweight, but I am confident that I can get back to a healthy position. But this time I am not going to sacrifice my health and happiness to do it.

1 month ago, I finally got back to the gym but I haven’t been training very hard. I am just focusing on getting back into the habit of training and getting my body used to training again. I haven’t set foot on a scale yet. In fact, I have no idea what weight I am. The focus for me at the moment is to get my body working and feel good while doing it. And, I am feeling very good with my training and progress. Now, the only way I measure my progress is feeling. If I feel good, I know I am doing the right things and if I am not feeling good, I pay attention to those feelings and make the necessary adjustments.

There may come a time when I need to use more accurate forms of measurement but for the moment. I am enjoying pursuing a goal without being attached to a goal.

​I would always encourage you to have goals in your life. If used properly, they will propel you forward in your life. But goals shouldn’t be about sacrificing everything in your life. If you have to give up more that you gain to achieve the goal; I would argue whether the goal is worth pursuing at all. I have provided an example form my own life of how of how being attached to a goal damaged me and my life. Being attached to a goal is never a good thing. Pursue the goal but monitor it regularly to see if you need to adjust your attempts to achieve it or; if you need to adjust the goa itself. Let your goals improve your life not hinder it.