Creating your own personal story? A prerequisite for success.

A clear vision for life is a prerequisite for success. If you want to know what action to take in any given moment; you must first try to understand what you are trying to achieve. We use vision or stories in almost all aspects of life. Stories are one of the most important communication tools in life. Think about your typical project – you have a story for the project i.e. this is what we are going to achieve and these are the things that we are going to do. To get others to buy into the project, even to get yourself to buy into the project, you share the story. People communicate best with stories; they learn best from stories and they get inspired by stories. The more passionate and detailed the story, the more likely it is that others will buy in. When dealing with work projects, you probably understand this; however, when it comes to the biggest project of them all i.e. your life, you might not have taken the time to create your own personal story. Having your own personal story is one of the most important steps that you can take on your path to success. Every time that you recite or visualise your personal story, you will strengthen the positive emotions you associate with the story and increase your motivation to bring it to life. There is no greater motivation in life than a burning desire to create the life that you truly desire. Having your own personal story for your life allows you to fuel that motivational fire on a daily basis. Not only will your personal story inspire you; it will inspire many others who will be willing to help and support you along your journey. When you have a personal story which inspires you, you will find that it resonates with others too.

Creating your own personal story

There are a number of critical factors which will help you to create a personal story which will serve to motivate and inspire you, even at the most difficult times. The following list covers some of the most important factors.

1. It must be your story

It seems obvious that your own personal story must be your story but you might be surprised by the number of people who are living their life based on the thoughts, beliefs, goals or dreams of others. For example, there are many people who chose their career to please their family. They may have wanted to do something else with their life but Mother or Father decreed that they would follow in the family footsteps. This approach rarely leads to genuine happiness.

There is much talk about people who experience mid-life crises where they appear to suddenly make dramatic changes in their life. In many of these cases, it may not actually be a crisis. I have coached a number of people who, in middle age, suddenly realised that it was time to stop living their life on other people’s terms and start pursuing their own dreams. Why wait? You will never be as motivated, inspired or as happy as when you are pursuing your own dreams.  Create your own personal story based on the life you want to lead.

2. Create a vision

Once you have your story, you need to back that story up with strong visual representations. Think back up to the last time you heard a story which really resonated with you. You will realise that as you were listening to the story, you started to develop an image of that story playing out in your mind. When you really connect with a story, you don’t just hear the words, you can picture it, which in turn helps to stimulate positive emotions. All of these factors are great motivators.  The good news is that you can help this process along by actively visualising your story. You can spend a few minutes each and every day visualising your story. With a little trial and error, you can quickly create a powerful visualisation, which you can use each day to reinforce and implant your personal story into both your subconscious and conscious minds.

3. Focus on what you can control

Too often, when people attempt to use visualisation, they focus solely on factors which lie outside of their control. Look at professional athletes. While they may visualise themselves standing on the top step of the podium, their main focus is on how they are going to get there i.e. by performing to their best. They consistently visualise each element of their performance because they know that if they do their best, the rewards will follow.

You should take the same mindset into your personal story. Do not fill your story with details of winning awards, pay rises and other forms of recognition. While indulging in a little of this is no great harm; recognition is something over which you have no control. Focus on who you want to be, what you want to contribute to the world and, how you want to make a difference. When you are the person you want to be and, you do the things you really want to do, you will receive the recognition and rewards which allow you to have the things that you want to have.

4. Go big, but do it right

I have always liked the concept of living large. Live the biggest and best life that you can, impacting upon and influencing as many people as you can. As Marianne Williamson said, fear of failure is not our biggest fear; our biggest fear is the fear of success, the fear of being all that you can be.  Don’t be afraid to be the best that you can be. If you have a dream, pursue it. Holding back won’t help you and it won’t help anyone else either.

At the same time, there is a way to live large – one step at time. If you want to influence 1 million people, by all means make that part of your personal story but realise that you are unlikely to influence all of them by noon tomorrow. Start with influencing one person and work your way up from there. You will foster greater belief and confidence as you go along.

You can learn to live large with the Ultimate Guide to Goal Setting.

5. Accept responsibility

When things go wrong, which they will from time to time, make it part of your story. Every great story involves learning and, mistakes provide a great opportunity to learn. Rather than get downbeat and begin apportioning blame, simply identify what you can change and change it. The lesson can then be an important of your personal story.

6. Acceptance

When you decide to live your own life you start to accept yourself for who you truly are. You don’t feel the need to change in order to please others. One of the most beautiful things about this experience is that you start to accept others for who they truly are. You realise that they have their own personal story which they are trying to live, as is their right. When you find disagreement, you do not feel the need to change them in anyway. Instead, you simply try and find the best way to work with them, to the mutual benefit of all parties. This creates lasting harmony in your relationships.

7. Be consistent with your values

When you are planning ahead and determining the right path for you to follow; you must be consistent with your values. Your values are the rules by which you choose to live e.g. honesty, loyalty, hard-work etc. There are many values which could be important to you. You may not think of your values as important but when you act in a manner which is contrary to them, you are likely to be overcome by negative emotions such as guilt. You may initially get away with breaking your values but they will eventually catch up with you and halt your progress.

If you are uncertain as to your values, you might want to check out Values Based Living.

8. Live your word

It is essential in life to be somebody who practices what they preach. If you criticise somebody for a specific behaviour, then you should not be seen to indulge in that behaviour yourself. If you promise to do something, you must be seen to keep your word. If you do not live true to your word, it will be impossible for others to believe you or, trust you. As success in life requires that you build supportive relationships; failing to live true to your word will have a detrimental effect on the results that you achieve.

9. Be heroic

If you wish to motivate yourself, there is no better way to achieve this than to be heroic. It is easy in life to think that only certain jobs have a heroic element but in reality, any job which is performed with a sense of purpose, is heroic, e.g.

• The street sweeper who does his best work to allow us to enjoy our clean and tidy villages, towns and cities.
• The waitress who provides outstanding service and raises your spirits after a hard day.
• The local sports coach who provides your children with a safe environment to learn, socialise and have fun.

If you wish to see how your story can be heroic, think about the sense of purpose i.e. why do you want to do this? And, how will others benefit from your efforts?

If you are struggling to find your purpose, check out the Living Purposefully Workbook.

A clear vision for life is a great motivator. Many people struggle to create a vision but it is not as difficult as might first appear. All you need to do is create your own personal story and then you can focus on making it as inspirational as possible.  Not only will your personal story motivate you and give you a clear sense of direction; when you share it with others, your personal story gives them reason to believe in and, support you.  Once you have your personal story created, it is far easier to create effective goals. You can assess each potential goal to determine whether it helps you to bring your story to life, or not. If the goal does not help bring your goal to life, it is probably best ignored. Creating your own personal story is a powerful exercise and, just as importantly, you can make it a very enjoyable experience. So, why not give it a try? Image credit: Freerange Stock Archives