We live in a very sociable world where we have to get along with other people to ensure both our happiness and success. The modern workplace is just as sociable. Nobody wants to be seen as the guy who lets the team down or fails to be a team player. Despite having your own goals, you will regularly be asked to help others with theirs; in both your professional and personal lives. On many occasions, the question is put to you in a form similar to ‘Can you do me a favour?’ Too often, without even thinking about it, you probably say yes. Of course, this often gets presented as a quick favour but it turns out to be a big job which eats up your time and resources. Before you commit to anything, you need to gather the information you need to make the right decision.
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Remember that when it comes to the rewards in life, you get rewarded for doing what you are supposed to be doing; not for helping other people dig themselves out of a hole. This is not to say that you should never help other people. But it helps to adopt an attitude of ‘only do what gets measured’ i.e. your primary focus.
The occassional quick favour, as long is it is actually a quick favour, is fine but only if you are ahead on your own work, should you give up a large amount of time to helping other people.
How to gather the information
Rather than just saying Yes, take the time to gather all the information you need to make an informed decision. Defend your task list by making the other person justify why you should help them. It may seem over the top but you want to eliminate unnecessary work from your schedule and; you want to make clear that you are not just some patsy who will do whatever work is dumped on his desk.
The following questions will help:
1. What’s wrong with the person who should be doing it?
A few years ago, I volunteered for a local club. I created their website for them and managed it. Then I started getting phone calls from the Chairman and Secretary asking if I could help out with some other work. Both of these people had assistants but they claimed that their assistants were unwilling to help. The AGM was approaching so I said that I would help them until then but I expected that the issue of the uncooperative assistants would be dealt with at the AGM.
The AGM came and went and the assistants were re-elected to their positions. I immediately quit my involvement with the club (there were other issues too) but I did a little further digging. I discovered that the Chairman and Secretary hadn’t been asking their assistants to help them at all. They had just realised that they could rely on me to do the work so they dumped it on me.
This happens in all walks of life e.g. there was a woman near me who used to ask here neighbours to water her flowers for her (some were very high up) but then people started to notice that her son was inside lying on the sofa while she was burdening other people to do work that he should been helping his mother with.
It can be very easy to feel sorry for someone when they cannot get the person who is supposed to do the work to do it but it is not your problem. They need to resolve the conflict and you taking over the other person’s duties only allows them to avoid the problem.
Consistently doing someone else's work is allowing those with authority to avoid responsibility. Say 'No'
2. Why am I the best person to help you?
It may surprise you but in many cases, the only reason that work gets dumped on someone’s desk is because they were the most convenient person to assign it to. Maybe you were the nearest person or; maybe you have a reputation for being helpful and the person dumping the work chose you because they think you are gullible enough to do it.
Often asking them why they chose you is enough to make them realise that you are nobody’s fool. Even if it doesn’t, it usually gives you a reason that you can dispute e.g.
‘I have never worked on those accounts, John and Lisa have though!’
Note: If the person asking you to help them is an ally who reciprocates by helping you when they can, you may want to help where you can. Just remember that most people who promise to reciprocate rarely, if ever, do.
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3. What is involved?
Before you can agree to give up your time to help somebody else, you need to know what is involved. You want as much detail as possible so that you can determine how it would impact on your own work/life to help. People feel guilty about asking for information before agreeing to help. Butwhen you do help someone and it turns out to take much longer than anticipated and is much more difficult; you only end up resenting the person who asked. This can do more damage to your relationship.
Some things you will need to know include:
- What exactly is the favour/job?
- How much time will this take – realistically?
- Who else is going to help?
- If costs are to be incurred, what is the budget?
The more information you have, the easier it is to make an informed decision about helping; or not. With extra information, even if you must say No, you will probably be able to offer some helpful advice or identify a more appropriate person to help them. This helps to soften the blow when you say No.
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Conclusion
We all like to help others as much as we can. But in reality, if you are struggling with your time management, you may well be spending too much time helping others, at the cost of your own goals and objectives. To make matters worse, we humans are creatures of convenience. If we think that we can get people to take more of our work off us, we will keep asking. So, getting a reputation for being very helpful is not necessarily a good thing. If you only offer assistance where you are in a position to do so, people may be upset, at first. But in the long run, they will actually come to respect you for your effectiveness and they will appreciate the times when you do help. Of course, you can help this by giving 100% every time you do agree to help.