Reduce stress with just 1 word

Having to deal with requests from other people can be very stressful. You do not want to upset anyone but you want to reduce stress, so learning to handle these requests is imperative. Handling requests effectively is essential in many areas of life, most notably in time management. Handling requests is a lot like managing tasks; you need to identify the things you do not need to do and say ’No’. Learning to say ‘No’ is the quickest and most effect way to reduce stress in interpersonal relationships. It can feel uncomfortable at first. It may even ruffle a few feathers but it sets clear boundaries and people will soon learn to respect you and your time. Once you become more comfortable at saying ‘No’, you will find that it improves your time management and your interpersonal relationships and it’s also guaranteed to reduce stress.

Why you do not say ‘No’

Saying ‘Yes’ when you mean ‘No’ is a form of approval seeking behaviour. You are desperately trying not to upset someone and you want to avoid an argument, so you disregard your own needs in order to satisfy theirs. Approval seeking is a major waste of time as people never really respect those who are not true to themselves. Approval seeking does not reduce stress, it increases it. When you need the approval of others, you are in a constant state of anxiety and worry as you fear that they may disapprove of you.

Reduce stress by saying no

The following are some strategies to help you reduce stress by saying ‘No’:

1. Just say ‘No’

With most requests or invitations, a simple one word answer is all that is required. In these cases, giving a reason for declining the request can make the situation more difficult as it gives the person making the request the opportunity to question your reason.

 2. Respect your rights

Others have the right to make requests of you but you also have the right to decline. You may feel obligated to say yes but the only obligation you feel is the obligation you place upon yourself. Nobody else can obligate you to do anything. They are merely making a request. So, if you want to decline the request, do so.

 3. Explain your reason in the positive

When declining a request from close friends or family, you may wish to provide a reason. When doing so, explain that reason in the positive. This requires you to explain how you are benefitting from declining e.g. ‘Unfortunately, I cannot make the show. I have been working away for the past week and I need to spend some time with my family’. When you are clear and honest like this, friends understand that you are not rejecting them, you are caring for yourself.

 4. Learn to accept disapproval

You are never going to be able to please everybody. Regardless, of what decision you make, there will always be people to disapprove. Just make the decision which is right for you and learn to accept the disapproval of others. Learning to accept disapproval is another great way to reduce stress.

You can learn to be more stress management strategies with Stress Free Living.

Handling requests effectively is an important part of life. It helps you to manage your relationships, your time and your stress levels. On many occasions you will want to accept requests but there will be other occasions where you want to say ‘No’. It’s easy to cave in and agree to these requests but if you repeatedly do this, you will pay the price with your time, health and relationships. Saying ‘No’ is the quickest way to reduce stress, maximise your time and maintain quality relationships with the people who are most important to you.