We are living in a time when everybody wants to be seen as selfless. So many people want to give the impression that they put everyone else before themselves. When I was growing up, it was seen as an insult for somebody to say that you ‘love yourself’ or that you were self-centred. Those are the kind of attitudes that do a lot of damage to your life. If you do not love yourself, you will never be in a position to love others. If you are not at the centre of your own life, you relinquish control of your life to others – you simply cannot succeed by being a wing man in your own life. There is one question that you can ask, both of yourself and others, which ensures that you will always be at the centre of your life. Sadly, that question is often treated as if it is some awful intention –‘What’s in it for me?’ If you are going to commit yourself and your resources to something, you need to know what you are going to gain from it. Depending on the nature of the situation, there are many different resources that you may be required to invest. These include:
- Time
- Money
- Energy
- Emotions
- Facilities
- Equipment, etc.
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It is important to remember that every time that you commit to something, there is an opportunity cost i.e. there is something else you could have chosen to do but you can no longer do. Each and every day you are required to choose between varying options. The options you choose will help to determine the level of success that you achieve. So, if you want to make the most of your life, there must be some benefit for you from taking a specific action i.e. you must know ‘What’s in it for me?’. The benefit you experience does not have to be monetary. There are many different types of benefit you might experience including:
- Money
- Time saved
- Feeling good
- Confidence
- Fulfilling your purpose
- Standing up for your values and beliefs
- Exposure/Advertising
- Enhanced reputation, etc.
Examples of asking ‘What’s in it for me?’
The following are just 3 examples of where asking ‘What’s in it for me?’ makes it much easier to decide what you should be doing. It should be noted that where you do not see any benefit for you in an offer, it does not automatically mean that the other person is trying to take advantage or con you. It usually just means that they have not considered the proposal from your perspective.
1. The sponsorship offer
An old friend of mine owns a gym. He puts in long hours and works incredibly hard for his business. For the first number of years, he barely scraped by as he fought to establish his name in a very competitive market. Any chance he had to promote his business was precious and something to seriously consider.
One day I was in the gym when a young lady arrived from a radio station. She told my friend that he had the opportunity to sponsor the community announcements (free advertising of events happening locally) on an Irish radio station with a large listenership. His investment would be close to €1000 for one month. The announcements would go out 4 times per day. It sounded like a great deal at first and many small business owners would jump at it but my friend wanted more detail. He wanted to know ‘What’s in it for me?’ He wasn’t prepared to just accept blind predictions from the lady; he wanted to understand how his business would benefit.
The first question my friend asked her was ‘What information will the advert provide about my business?’ He was told that he could only give the business name – no website details, address or phone number. He automatically wondered what would be the benefit of just announcing his business name if listeners did not know how to find him. What sounded like a great offer was suddenly sounding less impressive.
His ‘What’s in it for me?’ focus meant that he wanted to know if his business would be advertised to the right target group i.e. were the listener’s potential customers? He asked ‘What types of community announcements were advertised?’ to determine what type of people would be listening. The young lady provided a few examples including:
- Drama groups
- Sporting fixtures
- Fundraisers
- Classes
That last bit intrigued him so he asked about the types of classes that would be advertised. He was shocked to learn that it included fitness classes at local leisure complexes. He was effectively being asked to sponsor free advertising for his competitors. The initial offer had sounded great but because he wanted to know ‘What’s in it for me?’ and had kept looking for every detail, he could now see that it would be a massive waste of money.
2. The article
I recently received an email telling me about a new project to promote a particular health related topic and I was being offered the opportunity to jump on board. It’s a topic I am passionate about so I replied looking for more information. The response I received amounted to the following:
- I would write an article about that topic
- I would post that article on my website
- I would mention their business and link to their website
I am sure you are following the thread here so you won’t be surprised to learn that my first thought was ‘What’s in it for me?’ So, I asked. The reply I got didn’t even pretend that there was a benefit for me.
Writing and promoting articles takes many hours. The reason that people like me do it is so that we can attract readers and have the opportunity to demonstrate our knowledge and value. The reader learns something valuable and in return, we hope that a percentage of our readership will eventually buy some of our products and services. The company that contacted me wanted me to put all that effort in to advertising their service with nothing it in it for me.
Sadly, there are some people who will actually do it for them. They will waste hours of time promoting somebody else’s business when they could be using that time promoting their own. All because they fail to ask ‘What’s in it for me?’
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3. The website
Now, for a more positive example. I have recently being asked to help out with a website for my local G.A.A. club. It is voluntary role so there is no pay or compensation. As always, the first question that I ask myself is ‘What’s in it for me?’
The answer is that I get to help my local club which is an integral part of the community. It provides excellent facilities and opportunities to keep our young people focused on the right things and helps them stay out of trouble. It also allows me to help out by working from home in my own time so that I don’t have to attend meetings every week and, it is within my skillset. To be honest, I can’t think of too many reasons to say ‘No’.
To learn more great communication skills, check out How To Talk So Others Will Listen.
Every day we are required to make choices between different options which compete for out time and attention. We are also required to determine where we want to invest our other resources including our money and our emotions. We can’t possibly do everything that we would like to do in life. In addition, we will be offered many opportunities which may seem great to the person making the offer, without appearing so amazing to us. This is your life and you are the only person with responsibility for it. If you want to make the most of your life, you must invest your resources wisely. For too long, it has been considered a negative thing to ask ‘What’s in it for me?’ but failing to ask that question leads to you jumping mindlessly into projects that have no benefit for you. Ironically, these tend to be the projects which cause the most arguments and stress. You have the right to live your best possible life but to do so you cannot be a spectator in your own life. You must take charge of your life and you cannot do so unless you are prepared to ask ‘What’s in it for me?’